After Troublesome Off-Season, Tony Patterson Takes Face-Off Fresno

Despite the protests and anger, Tony Patterson returned to the NASP toe-line on Saturday, March 11 to reclaim his spot at the top of Professional Staredown.
       Refocused and as always flamboyant as ever, Patterson, dismantled the competition with his usual efficiency. The final match of the day came down to Greg "Tomato Juice" Doyle and Patterson and despite a valiant effort on Doyle's part the crankshaft proved to be too much.
       "It feels good to be back on top," claimed Patterson, "You know as much as they tried, it's impossible to keep a sports god like myself down for too long."
       However, noticeably absent from Fresno was the current NASP National Champion, Philip Rockhammer.
       Rockhammer was unavailable for comment, but according to his blog (http://blog.myspace.com/philiprockhammer) he has officially retired from Staredown in order to purse other interests, namely demolition derby.
       "I don't really have anything to say about Rockhammer, except I hope that fairy has fun playing bumper cars with the rest of those ass grabbers." Patterson continued on to claim, “If I wanted to I could totally beat the Rockdork in a demolition derby."
       With the first victory of the season behind him, Patterson is already talking about the National Championship.
       "Everybody else might as well stay at home this year, this bitch is mine."
       Stay tuned to see if Rockhammer is just trying to mess with Patterson's head, or if he's really retired.